Bug Invasion
by Machungwa63
Summary: My final story. Traditional Machungwa63 fashion: oneshot, corny comedy, over-the-top, Nala tragedy, but at least this one isn't rated M. This story is dedicated to anybody who has ever over-reacted at the sight of a bug.


**(A/N: There was a spider on my curtain rail. I swung my shoe and KILLED THE SPIDER! ... but broke the curtain rail. Unfortunately, we never learn from killing bugs, because they always come back and they always must be destroyed...apparently. This is my final story, and it is wrote in dedication of anyone who has ever overreacted to seeing a bug. All characters are owned by Disney.)**

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><p><em>"…<em>_everything __I __want __the __world __to __be__…" _sung Nala, throwing a cover across her bed.

_"…__is __now __coming __true __especially __for __me,__" _she continued, closing her blinds.

_"…__and __the __reason __is __clear, __it__'__s __because __Simba __will __be __here, __he__'__s __the __nearest __thing __to __heaven __that __I__'__ve __seen,__" _she added as she lit some candles down her hallway.

_"__I__'__m __on __the__…__top __of __the __world,_

_ "Looking – down on creation,_

_"__And __the __only __expl__…_aargh!" she screamed, cowering back from a wall.

If you held a microscope up to the end of a magnifying glass and held it right up to the wall and zoomed in with the telescopic lens on a multi-thousand dollar camera, you might have been able to see the spider that Nala had just found.

"Ooh…" she moaned, "…I really don't want Simba's visit to be ruined by this spider. Good thing I have the bug exterminators on speed dial."

Nala quickly plucked up the courage to run on by the spider and down the hallway towards her phone.

She picked it up, pressed a button, and was instantly connected.

"Yes…this is Nala…um, 777 Pridelands Parkway…yeah…it's a spider…could you please?...thank you."

Nala hung up, and instantly her front door swung open as Timon and Pumbaa turned up in custom-made astronaut suits.

Nala stared at them wide-eyed, and then sighed. "I should have know," she mumbled to herself.

"When your hallways aren't clear, there's no need to fear!" shouted Timon.

"Call the bug exterminators, we'll soon be here!" added Pumbaa.

Nala shook her head. "That was a terrible entrance," she said, smiling.

Timon shrugged. "Okay…we'll just turn away then."

"No!" exclaimed Nala, hurrying around them and blocking them. She chuckled nervously. "Eh…yeah…sorry, um, look…I really need this spider taken care of. See…Simba is coming around tonight, and it's going to be something really special. We're going to have dinner, we're going to watch TV, and then we're going to curl up in bed together. Eee, I can't wait! But in order for everything to be perfect…the spider's got to go."

"That's what we're here for," replied Pumbaa, stepping out of his suit.

Nala frowned. "Don't you need those astronaut suits?"

"Nah," replied Timon, stepping out of his, "they're just for show. Where's the spider?"

"Down here," said Nala, pointing to the wall behind her telephone.

Timon and Pumbaa made their way on down the hallway and up to where the spider was.

"Hmm…" said Timon, looking at the wall.

He got out a microscope and pointed it at the wall.

"Can't see it," he stated.

Pumbaa handed him a magnifying glass. Timon placed it in front of the microscope lens and continued to look through.

"Still can't see it."

Pumbaa handed him a high-tech video camera. Timon held it behind the microscope and zoomed in as far as it would go.

"Aha!" Timon cheered, and with that he held out his fingers, located the spider on the wall, picked it up and ate it.

"Phew!" exclaimed Nala. "Thank you _so_ much guys. How much do I owe you?"

"Fifty dollars, each, on the hour," replied Timon.

"On the hour," thought Nala, "so that's fifty cents each, for you both?" she asked.

Timon and Pumbaa blinked.

"No…" replied Timon, "we round to the nearest hour."

Nala's eyes grew wide. "So I get it for free?" she asked, surprised.

"Correction," stated Timon, "we round _up_ to the nearest hour."

Nala's jaw dropped. "A hundred dollars for _one_ spider?"

"'Fraid so," replied Timon. "Now pay up, miss."

Nala frowned. "I still have you for another fifty-eight minutes," she stated. "I'm going to make the most of it."

Timon and Pumbaa sighed.

"Alright, what do you want?" asked Timon.

"I've got to buy some groceries for tomorrow," replied the lioness. "While I'm gone, I want you to exterminate any bug that comes into my house. If I even catch the whiff of a bug when I get back, I will personally see to it that you guys never receive any business ever again."

"That's a bit extreme, isn't it?" asked Pumbaa.

Nala picked her keys up from the counter. "Think of it as an incentive," she replied, smiling. And with that, she headed for the door and closed it behind her.

Timon and Pumbaa exchanged glances.

"Well…" began Timon, "…it's just a one-story house, so it shouldn't be too hard to find any bugs that come in."

"Right," replied Pumbaa, "and I think Nala's rather eagle-eyed. If there were a bug in this house now, she would have already found it."

"Agreed," replied Timon. "Well, I guess there's nothing else for us to do but watch TV."

Before they could make their way to Nala's living room, however, a big yellow butterfly flew straight in front of them.

"Uh oh," said Pumbaa.

"Hmm…" thought Timon, "…it would seem that Nala's going for a romantic approach to this relationship with Simba. Butterflies are romantic creatures. I figure we should let it be."

As Timon finished talking, the yellow butterfly found a mate fluttering around by Nala's back patio door. The two met and, seconds later, the female laid a bunch of eggs on the kitchen counter. The eggs hatched, and caterpillars began to crawl around the house.

"AARGH!" screamed Timon and Pumbaa.

"Oh no! This is terrible, who do we call, Pumbaa?"

"Eh…the bug exterminators."

"Pumbaa, where _do_ you come up with these ideas? The bug exterminators, that's ridicu…hey, I've got it…we need to call the bug exterminators!"

Timon picked up Nala's phone and hit her speed-dial number.

Pumbaa suddenly began to hear his cell phone ring. He reached into his pocket and picked it up.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Pumbaa…is that you?"

"Oh, hey Timon! Where are you?"

"At Nala's house. Hey buddy, you need to help me out – Nala's going to close our business down if we don't eat these caterpillars."

Pumbaa gasped. "I'll be right there!" he exclaimed, and with that, Pumbaa hung up, ran out of the house, looked for 777 Pridelands Parkway, found it, and ran indoors.

"Timon, I've found you!"

"Oh, thank goodness you're here, buddy. Come on, let's eat these critters!"

And with that, the meerkat and warthog got set on gobbling all of the caterpillars up.

Within moments, they were all gone.

"Phew, that didn't take long," commented Pumbaa.

"No, it didn't," replied Timon, thinking of an ingenious plan. "Hey, Pumbaa. You know, I've been thinking – we make a _great_ team. We would clear this whole house of bugs in five minutes if we wanted. Why don't we just let them breed, let them reproduce, and when their numbers have spread into the thousands, we'll be fit for a meal."

"Ooh!" exclaimed Pumbaa excitedly, "I _like_ the sound of that."

"Then let's get started," said Timon cheerfully, rubbing his hands together. He walked over to the back patio door and opened it up.

"Bugs ahoy!" he yelled, taking a step back.

…

Nothing happened.

"Eh…Timon…" addressed Pumbaa, "…perhaps this would help," he suggested, picking a giant floodlight out of their backpack.

"Yeah, why not," replied Timon.

Pumbaa turned the light on, and every bug from Nala's back door flew or crawled into the house and towards the floodlight.

"Let them breed!" exclaimed Timon, closing the back door. "More bugs, more food!"

"Huh?" asked Pumbaa, rolling his tongue out and slurping up all of the bugs in one gulp.

His actions caused Timon to stop dead in his tracks. The meerkat sighed, and opened the back door again.

Another flock of bugs flew in.

Timon closed the door.

"Ooh, bugs!" exclaimed Pumbaa.

"No Pumbaa – don't…"

But it was too late. The bugs were gone.

Timon shook his head. "Pumbaa, Pumbaa, Pumbaa. Listen. Show a little self-restraint, okay? Look, now when I open the door, lots of bugs are going to fly in, okay?"

"Okay."

"But there's not going to be many of them, okay?"

"Okay."

"So when I open the door this time, don't slurp them all up straight away, okay?"

"Gotcha," replied the warthog.

Once again, Timon opened the door, the bugs made their way in, and Timon closed the door. Pumbaa looked down at the pile of bugs.

He kept on looking. He kept on looking. He kept on looking. Then he slurped them all up.

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><p><strong>Ten minutes later…<strong>

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><p>Pumbaa was now wearing a giant metal chain around his snout, was tied up to Nala's bookcase by rope, and had been positioned back about five feet away from the floodlights by Timon.<p>

Timon opened the door again.

This time however, nothing came in.

At least, not at first.

Eventually, a moth flew in.

"Well…" said Timon, "…that's one."

After that, an ant crawled in.

"That's two."

He was closely followed by a dung beetle.

"That's three."

And then a termite.

"Four."

And then, another moth, ant, dung beetle and termite all made their way in.

"Woo hoo!" exclaimed Timon, "breeding time!"

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><p><strong>Forty-six minutes later…<strong>

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><p>Timon and Pumbaa stood nervously at the door.<p>

They both had sweat rolling down their sides, and were putting on the toothiest, fakest smiles that they could possibly muster.

"Perhaps she won't notice," murmured Pumbaa out of the side of his mouth.

Before Timon could reply, Nala opened her front door.

"Hi guys," she welcomed, "thanks for taking care of my house for me."

"Oh, you're quite welcome," replied Timon, still smiling and sweating.

Nala began to catch onto something. "Um…is there something you're not telling me?" she asked.

"No," replied Timon _and _Pumbaa, both instantaneously and rather quickly.

Nala frowned. "Were there any bugs in my house?" she asked.

"Well…" replied Timon, "…a couple of ants _may_ have gotten into your pantry."

With that, Nala stormed through the house and into the kitchen. She opened the pantry…and screamed.

"What has happened to my _food?__"_ she asked, looking at her empty bags and bowls.

"Well…you went grocery shopping," stated Pumbaa, "we figured you wouldn't need any."

"I brought oranges!" retorted Nala. "How's that going to sound? Hey Simba, welcome to my home. Do you want an orange?"

Timon licked his lips. "I'd like an orange."

Nala wasn't paying attention. "Ooh…this is well over a hundred dollars loss! Forget about me paying you."

"Okay," replied Timon, "that's cool. Pumbaa and I…we're going to…we're gonna leave now."

Slowly, the meerkat and warthog began to back up to the front door.

Nala narrowed her eyes. "Hold it," she commanded.

The duo stopped.

"Is there anything else I'd like to know?" she asked.

"Nope!" replied Pumbaa happily.

"Absolutely nothing," added Timon.

"Feel free to go into your bedroom, anytime!"

Nala frowned. Timon did too.

Pumbaa looked between each of their glares.

"I said something wrong, didn't I?"

Nala stormed over to her bedroom and turned on the light.

She took a deep breath of air…and then let it out.

"AARGH!"

Timon crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "A new bed quilt does _not_ cost one hundred dollars."

"What have you guys done to my _sheets?_ Simba can't sleep in this!"

"Hey, don't blame us…it was the moths."

"Why were there _moths_ in my house?" Nala seethed. "What else am I supposed to find? Dung beetles in the bathroom?"

(Director note: zoom camera out to show picture of entire planet Earth – cue Nala's high-pitched scream)

"It's just _dung,__"_ stated Timon. "What do you expect to find in a bathroom?"

"That's enough!" exclaimed Nala, slamming her bathroom door closed behind her. Before she said anything else though, a thought ran through her head.

She frowned. "Did…did that sound rather hollow to you?" she asked, referring to the sound of the door slamming.

No sooner had the words left the lioness's mouth, than the door frame fell apart, and brought the rest of the hollowed-out house down to the ground.

As the dust began to settle, it became evident to Nala that she was wrapped around a large piece of debris that had coiled around her neck and legs.

She was trapped from moving, but even from her standpoint, she could see the utter destruction that the termites had brought upon her house.

She gasped. "M—m—my home…" she stated. She sniffed. "My home sweet home."

"Uh, hi Nala," called Simba, from off to the side. Nala moved her neck around to see him. "I, um, I thought I'd bring you this as a gift," he said, holding up a frame with the words 'Home Sweet Home,' in it, "I, eh, I thought it would help liven up your living room. Um…obviously it's not quite as appropriate right now…um. So, I'm just going to go back to my house for the night – eh…looks like you've got stuff to keep you busy. My parents are kind of stringent about having unexpected visitors so…otherwise I'd invite you but eh, I'm sure Timon and Pumbaa will keep you company for the rest of the night. Well…goodbye!"

And with that, Simba left.

A tear ran down Nala's cheek.

"So eh…we…we're going to be leaving now," commented Timon, chuckling nervously.

He and Pumbaa slowly began to back away.

Nala turned in their direction and began yelling out a variety of different four-lettered words at them, but she couldn't do much else…seeing as she was trapped.

Before they left, the meerkat and warthog collected a $100 bill they found lying on the ground, and then they ran away.

"And what have we learned today?" asked Rafiki, appearing out of nowhere next to Nala.

Nala shrugged. "Not to trust Timon and Pumbaa, obviously," she replied.

"So what are you going to do now?" the mandrill asked again, pointing down at a fractured piece of wood lying on the floor.

Nala sighed and looked down at Rafiki's finger…and then her eyes grew. Crawling on the piece of wood, was a microscopic spider.

"No! Kill it Rafiki! Call the bug exterminators! Get rid of it! AARGH!"

Rafiki rolled his eyes. "I guess some lessons will never be learned," he replied.

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><p><strong>(AN: Like I said, we will never learn to not overreact to bugs that are 10,000 times smaller than us, no matter how much destruction we bring onto ourselves. Ah well. That's all folks! Literally - I'm hanging up the hat. I'll still be around though. Hope you enjoyed the ride!)**


End file.
